Dave Henson strikes again. This is one of the best football parodies by a country mile.
A song in ‘tribute’ to Leicester City striker Yann Kermorgant following his disastrous penalty kick in the Championship play-off semi final second leg shoot-out against Cardiff.
Enjoy!
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Everton boss David Moyes was impressed by the performance of new signing Magaye Gueye during the first game of their pre-season tour to Australia.
The 20-year-old French striker joined the Toffees on a five-year contract from Strasbourg in June and made his first appearance for the Premier League club during Saturday's 1-0 victory over Sydney FC.
Fellow striker Victor Anichebe scored the only goal of the game, but Moyes was impressed by Gueye
"He did well," he told the club's official website."He was good on the ball and we trusted him with the ball.
"You can see he is going to have good ability. At the moment the language barrier is a little bit in the way and we are still finding where we think he will be of best use to us.
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"It wasn't the best surface but great credit to the players. They worked hard and played well."Subscribe to Football FanCast News Headlines by Email
David Beckham believes it was the players and not Fabio Capello who were to blame for England's dire form at this summer's World Cup and has reiterated that he has no interest in becoming his country's next manager.
England finished second in their group after dismal draws against the USA and Algeria were followed by a narrow 1-0 success against Slovenia.
Capello's team were then thrashed 4-1 by Germany at the last-16 stage although they were unfortunate when Frank Lampard's effort was not allowed to stand even though the ball had clearly crossed the line.
Beckham has been quick to back Capello, who will remain in charge of England for another two years, saying:"He did everything that he could have done.
"He prepared us right. He worked the players to the right amount and he set everything up for the players, but obviously the players know it was disappointing.
"We didn't perform and as players you know that – you know when you don't perform, you know when you don't play well.
"The manager can do so much and then it's down to the players. The players go on to the pitch and they know if they don't perform they don't win games.
"The players are honest about that but it's not about individuals, it's not about how individuals play – it's about how we played as a team. It's a cliche but you win as a team and you lose as a team.
"You have to take the good days and enjoy those, and the bad days you learn from and the team will do that because we've got a lot of young players."
When asked if he wanted to be a manager in the future, the 35-year-old added:"It isn't a passion of mine and I don't see me doing that in the future.
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"I'm passionate about the game and being there and obviously I was wearing the suit so people have looked and thought I could be going into that. If there was anything that needed saying from the manager to the players, that was kind of my role.
"I enjoyed that but, coaching-wise, I love coaching kids – that's one of the reasons I have my academies – the children. I love seeing their faces when they're kicking the ball around. I love the enthusiasm, the honesty – that's one of the things I love doing.
"But coaching a team, being a manager, at this point in my career I don't want to do that and in the future I don't think that will happen either."Subscribe to Football FanCast News Headlines by Email
News of Jack Wilshere’s absence from the England Under-21 squad has set tongues wagging. The rumour mill rumbles into gear about a possible call up to the senior squad for England’s friendly against Hungary this Wednesday, and as well as Wilshere; Theo Walcott, Micah Richards and Lee Cattermole have all also been left out.
The fact that there is an England friendly three days before the start of the Premiership season is of course inexplicable, and a ridiculous state of affairs, however that debate is for another day and the fact remains that there is an England game, so Capello must get as much as he can out of it.
This should be a team that contains ideas concerning the 2012 European Championships: the qualifying for the tournament, as well as any friendlies played in over the next two years should all be geared to preparing a team for that tournament. And not just for that tournament, but for years after that. This last World Cup performance should be both a chance to build something new, as well as an opportunity for the country to lower the levels of pressure and expectation.
There is no point in playing the likes of Ashley Cole, Steven Gerrard and Wayne Rooney in this fixture. It would take a drastic set of circumstances for these players to not be in the first team come 2012, and they will be an important part of qualifying for the tournament itself. There is nothing to be gained from Wayne Rooney, playing an England game in between the Charity Shield and first Premier League fixture of the season. That said, I don’t believe there should a complete overhaul of the entire squad for this game.
Any player that Capello doesn’t believe will make the 2012 squad, even at this early stage, shouldn’t really be included. Players such as Shaun Wright-Phillips, Jamie Carragher and Emile Heskey (although his retirement has pipped me to the post) conceivably are not going to part of the evolution of the England team, and so maybe now is the time to sever ties.
This game should be used as an opportunity to try the system or players that Capello would have considered, but may have been wary to try in a major tournament. Any players from the Under-21’s that may or may not be promoted to the squad, should be complimented by the players who went to South Africa, but were denied the chance to make an impression, or players who didn’t make the trip in the first place i.e. Adam Johnson, Michael Dawson, Stephen Warnock, Tom Huddlestone and Theo Walcott. In the case of Walcott, he hasn’t improved at perhaps the rate people were hoping, but it is too early to write him off, and he still has the potential to be a very good player.
The actual result of the game is irrelevant. Even after the World Cup, fans will much rather watch fresh players trying to express themselves, playing without restriction and fear. It is time to stop thinking in the short term; England will be forgiven for a quarter-final finish in 2012 if there are signs, and clear ones at that, not just talk of it, of genuine progress. If in two years, the England side looks like it is on the way to creating something progressive and sustainable, then that will excite England fans.
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Harry Redknapp was one of the first Premiership managers to throw his hat in the ring for the soon to be vacant England Managers job in 2012 and who could blame him. But does the search for Tottenham’s next manager also start here?
The England managers job is one of the most prestigious appointments in World football and there can be no greater honor for an Englishman to have the chance to manage his Country. Many would also argue that Harry Redknapp has earned his chance after guiding Spurs into the Champions League for the first time.
However the England job will not become vacant for another two years and surely Harry should be concentrating on the job at hand at Spurs rather than fueling the media-circus that will follow Fabio Capello’s decision to quit at the end of the European Championships.
If Harry really wants the England Managers job he should cement his credentials through his achievements at club level over the next two years. After all the job is only half done. He has this years Champions League Campaign to look forward to and the challenge of cementing Tottenham’s position amongst the elite of English football of the next couple of years.
However it seems that whenever you pick up a paper or listen to sport radio you hear a new sound-bite from Harry Redknapp. I’m sure Daniel Levy would prefer he spend more time on the training field and less time talking to the media. After all Harry is only a serious contender for the England job because his current employers gave him the opportunity to manage a club who can compete at the top end of the table, rather than working miracles at the other end.
The Spurs board will now be looking anxiously at developments over the coming months and should the media-circus following the appointment of the next England manager start to effect the performance and long term objectives of the club, they will surely also be considering their next appointment.
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Harry is quite rightly a frontrunner for the England Managers job and a darling of the press because of the amount of inches he feeds them on a daily basis (column inches!). But to quote from the song-sheet of our snooker loopy forefathers once more – “with his incessant talking, he’s becoming a pest”.
The sign of a great team? One that can compete on all fronts. Inter last season, Barca the year previously, and as much as it pains me to say it, the United team of ’99, were perfect examples of having the versatility, ability, fitness and depth within a squad to be successful across the board. Very few teams have the resources to do it and so must prioritise one competition over the next, so which do you choose?
In the case of Barca and Inter’s treble-winning seasons, and this is by no means in disrespect of their achievement, their respective leagues were won with relative ease. At this present moment (we will have to wait to see how much Mourinho can galvanise the egos of Los Blancos) they are so much stronger than their opponents that resting players, and dropping the odd point here, and there doesn’t have too much of a detrimental effect on their league ambitions. For Man United and Chelsea, you could flip a coin over who will win the league and so rather than the domestic room afforded to Inter; theirs is a much more claustrophobic affair.
Roman Abramovich is now craving the Champions League in the way Rob Green wants a rewind button on the last six months of his career. Three Premeir League titles cannot be underestimated as an achievement, but for the Russian, European glory is the holy grail. Further north, Sir Alex Ferguson has publicly admitted that his only regret during his time at the helm of United is that they have not won more Champions League titles. Considering they are regularly contenders, he is right to feel that his return could have been greater than two. But neither team is willing to sacrifice the bread and butter of the league and so must fight on both fronts.
Below the Premierships top table of dinner for two, there is less of an expectation to win the title and so teams can perhaps apply their focuses elsewhere.
For Arsenal – who I don’t believe have the squad, or the keeper, to win the league, despite a glittering array of talent – there is however an opportunity in Europe. They have the ability to beat anyone on their day, and so may be better suited to the smaller amount of games required in Europe. That said, the period without a Premier League title is beginning to border on the stagnant.
For Spurs and Man City, they simply have to focus on the league. That is their priority, no doubt. If Man City are serious about their aspirations (which I truly believe they are), then they have to be in the Champions League. It’s like a boy at school hanging around, waiting to be asked to the party that all the cool kids and hot girls are going to, buying all the booze in the hope of an invite. City will be dancing around at that party, showing off their expensive clothes and sparkling jewellery, very soon.
In regards to Spurs, they have to see the Champions League as a bonus this year; in football and financial terms. It will be a far greater achievement to qualify again this year than to go out in the second round and miss out on a top four spot. Ominously for White Hart Lane regulars, it already looks as though it will be a tall ask.
And what of Operation Hodgson at Anfield. The low league finish last season means that any improvement on that will be seen as progress, thus giving him the scope to try and win the Europa League. The biggest challenge will come from Atletico Madrid and Sevilla, but his side have a definite chance, better than the one he had with Fulham last year, and we know how that went.
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For the rest of the league the status quo remains: get as higher finish as possible and enjoy any extra perks along the way. The Carling Cup is a ticket to European away days, and any team not fighting relegation should remember the money that creates, not to mention the buzz it gives their followers; a fact Fulham and Middlesbrough will remind you of. To the Premier League teams in Europe this week, I wish you all well, even United (just this once).
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After just over a year at Chelsea, Yuri Zhirkov is supposedly considering his future due to the lack of games he has been given. The only time he had a regular run in the team was when Ashley Cole broke his ankle at Goodison Park, and most of the remaining season was sidelined. So will the club’s latest big money acquisition, the wire-limbed Ramires, suffer the same fate?
In the case of Zhirkov, it is very difficult to attain whether it was actually he that complained about his situation. He has publicly quashed any rumours about a potential move away, but he knows that he would be a first team regular at a lot of other big clubs. As it stands, the Russian is reduced to substitute appearances and Cup games.
The situation could be a similar one for Ramires. He is currently starting games in Ancelotti’s midfield three with Essien and Mikel, but will almost certainly make way for Frank Lampard when he returns from injury. It is an almost identical situation that Zhirkov found himself in when filling in for Ashley Cole.
So far in his Chelsea career the Brazilian has equipped himself well. His nationality makes him obviously comfortable on the ball, and he has an attacking intent that his current teammates in the middle may lack (although both Essien and Mikel have been more aggressive this season thus far). Against Man City he struggled, and got beaten up (not in the Ben Arfa sense of the word) by Nigel De Jong, who dominated the midfield that day. He recovered well to put in a much stronger performance against Arsenal at Stamford Bridge last Sunday, and created the first goal.
Ordinarily, when a player is given a run in a team and performs well, it is enough to keep that place. Trying to picture Frank Lampard not walking straight back into the team however, is bordering on the surreal. At 23, Ramires is a player for the future as well as the present, but neither Essien nor Mikel are pensioners, and Lampard will be around for a few more years at least. For someone of Ramires’ ability it may not be the ideal situation to hang around; eventually a player will want to move on, just like Joe Cole did. But for every Cole, there is a Kalou: a player who has forever been on the fringes, but still picks up around thirty games a season, and becomes an important part of the squad.
What Ramires has going for him is that if any of the first choice midfielders are unavailable, regardless of which one it is, he will be the next choice, because the players in question are adaptable enough to shift roles. It is far too soon to question whether Ramires has made the right decision in moving to Chelsea. Since recovering from an early injury, he has featured in every game for his new club, but this may be down to the fact that as well as Lampard, Yossi Benayoun is also unavailable.
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It may be a case of ‘wait and see’ for Ramires. It has been an encouraging start so far, and it is important to remember that Chelsea is still a step up for the player, and that he has just made the biggest move of his career. He should have confidence in his own ability, but he must also be aware that you can simply waltz into the team at a club as good as Chelsea. I am certain he will play a big part in Chelsea’s season, and in their future.
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Football is a funny old game. And it seems that quality extends to the names of some of the players who have played the beautiful game. Here’s our top 10 list of the funniest names in football.
10. Ice Cream
Osa Guobadia decided that his name was a little too run-of-the mill and thought he needed something with a little flavour. So naturally he settled on Ice Cream.
9. Jean-Jacques Missé-Missé
The regrettably named Cameroonian striker spent most of his career in Belgium but he had spells in Scotland with Dundee United and with Chesterfield in England. During his time in the UK, Missé-Misseé more than lived up to his name as he failed to score a single goal.
8. Dominique Dropsy
For a goalkeeper, being called Dropsy doesn’t necessarily bode well but despite his unfortunate name, Dropsy was capped 17 times for France. He also managed to start a game for Les Bleus in their 1978 World Cup game against Hungary which France managed to win 3-1.
7. Danger Fourpence
Awesomely named Zimbabwe international Danger Fourpence sounds like a cross between a Charles Dickens’ character and a Bond villain. Fourpence plays for CAPS United who have developed something of a reputation for having players with brilliant names. Amongst the players that have plied their trade for the club are Givemore Manuella, Gift Makolonio and Limited Chicafa. But Danger Fourpence is my personal favourite.
6. Anthony Philip David Terry Frank
Donald Stanley Gerry Gordon Stephen
James Oatway
Or Charlie to his mates. Oatway’s parents were massive Queen’s Park Rangers fans and decided to name their son after the entire 1973 promotion winning side. The name Charlie reportedly came about when Oatway’s parents told his aunt about his unusual name, to which his aunt replied he’d “look a right Charlie”.
Continued on Page TWO
5. Creedence Clearwater Couto
What better way to declare your love of your favourite band by naming your child after them. Unfortunately for Brazilian striker Creedence Clearwater Couto, that’s exactly what his parents did. The Spice Girls were not happy.
4. Have-A-Look Dube
Another Zimbabwean player with a comedy name, Have-A-Look Dube was last seen playing for First Division side Border Striker after being released by Premier Division club Njube Sundowns in 2008.
3. Mark De Man
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Probably the most apt name for a centre half ever, Mark De Man is a Belgian defender who is currently playing for Germinal Beerschot in his native Belgium. No doubt hilarity ensues on the training ground with a name like that.
2. Bongo Christ
Like his religious namesake, Bongo Christ is something of a journeyman. The Congolese striker has had spells in Germany, Switzerland, France, Mexico and Gabon before retiring from football in 2008.
1. Ars Bandeet
And so we come to the number spot on our list which goes to hilariously named Algerian international Ars Bandeet. Not much is known about the midfielder but he was part of the Algerian national team set-up during the 70s.
Any other funny names we’ve missed out on?
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Wayne Rooney is to be flown over to the U.S.A in his comeback from injury and his attempt to regain fitness. It is hoped that this regained fitness will have the consequence of manifesting the Rooney of last season’s goal scoring prowess. Sir Alex Ferguson has thus wielded his domain of influence over the Manchester United striker and this act can be seen as further reclamation of authority over what seemed a contentious scenario.
The fitness camp based in Portland, Oregon is called Nike World and will serve as the catalyst for Rooney to regain his fitness with state-of-the-art facilities inherent within the complex. The entourage that accompanies Rooney will serve as his trainers that impose a harsh regime upon him in his bid to match the expectations that fans deem necessary after having signed his newly improved contract. The outcome of this decision will be instantaneously evident as Ferguson has explicitly stated that he expects Rooney to be match ready upon his return.
With Rooney’s previous excursion to Dubai having been ratified in order for him to hold conciliatory talks with Coleen over their marriage situation, he has had a busy few weeks travelling. So what are the reasons behind Rooney flying 10 hours across the globe? Well Mike Phelan was on hand to the media and clarified the motivations for this decision: “If it goes according to plan, he’ll be available when he returns. We have the facilities here but, after all the attention he’s had lately, we thought a change of scenery might be best for him and the club. He can go there without the attention he would get around here.”
Let us just assert the fact that this conditioning work will last all of ten days, is this not a rather excessive ploy to try and get a professional football player fit enough to play? Yes the media pressures are visible and all consuming at times, but Oregon, for all of my knowledge, still has television, journalists and the media. For all we know his Shrek-like appearance may cause more problems over there than football related matters at home. He has also been away once already to Dubai to clear his head and rectify whatever it was that needed doing so.
Phelan further states: “He’s going to do some serious work this time…His condition is not too bad. He just needs that extra little bit that we feel we can give him.” Two questions automatically arise from this statement, one being, did he not do any serious work previously and if so why not? Secondly, Rooney’s condition is ‘not too bad’, but bad enough to fly him to the U.S.A in order to undergo a strict training regime. It just strikes me as an extreme measure to have to take; especially amidst the current furore he finds himself enraptured in.
What can be admired is the handling of Rooney by Ferguson and what most people can see as a possible investment for future needs. Ferguson has kept the petulant player and is essentially investing in one of his prime assets for the welfare of the club. This could be reaped at a later date when another club wishes to buy him or when Rooney manages to rekindle his deadly form, if ever. Will this experiment pay off for Rooney or will he gorge one too many delicious, but ultimately forbidden fast food meals?
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Click on image below to see a gallery of Cristiano Ronaldo’s latest lady
Two different types of crisis meet at Villa Park in Saturday’s early kick-off and whilst Villa’s is mainly injury-based, Arsenal’s is mainly not being able to defend based, which ironically can be more difficult to repair than most snapped cruciates. The unexpected reunion with Robert Pires is almost interesting, but if we were to talk about every former Arsenal players who makes a pointless cameo against Arsenal, we’d talk about nothing else.
The whippersnappers making up Villa’s midfield have the potential to make it big in the future – but this early Saturday afternoon may be a little early too early. Despite the slump, Arsenal have been creating chances and had it not been for Carlos Vela milking some reasonably forceful contact to the point it looked like a dive, could well have won and avoided the tedious knee-jerk reactions of this week.
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At the very least, this one should be an entertaining and free-flowing game. They’re not words generally associated with Gerard Houllier teams, but with a lack of defensive minded options, he hasn’t got much choice. It should also feature goals. Both sides have managed just 4 clean sheets in 14 games this season. Although there’s a sizeable gap in terms of league positions and points, Villa and Arsenal are more evenly matched if you take heed of results at half-time. If games were ended after the first 45 minutes, Villa would be on the cusp of the Champions League places. Obviously the tradition of playing a further 45 minutes renders that stat virtually pointless, but it suggests Villa are no good at holding on to a lead. That makes the Double Result of Aston Villa at Half Time and Arsenal at Full Time @ 22/1 a very interesting proposition. Likewise with home advantage likely to negate any gulf in class, the draw is a good option. It’s unlikely to be a bore draw, so something like the 2-2 stalemate @ 11/1 may not be out of the question.
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